Good day to one and all and, yes, I know it has been a while for reasons I shall explain below if you care to read on. I realise it is almost three months since I posted here and in the next few entries I shall hopefully explain the reasons for this. I am quite sure nobody has actually missed my ramblings too much.
Obviously, I was in the middle of a series about my 2016 trip to Sri Lanka and I promise I shall return to it shortly, there is still so much to share with you about that wonderful country with it’s stunning scenery, sublime cuisine, fascinating history and a population of the friendliest people you are ever likely to meet on this cosmic rock we all inhabit.
So what happened? Lots of things really which, to avoid repetition, I am not going to itemise here but suffice it to say I have been on an emotional rollercoaster that would grace any theme park in the world. Bizarrely, I am terrified of heights and yet I have a perverse love of rollercoasters, I cannot resist them but I must admit I could have done without the mental and physical one I have been on recently. I’ll stick to the Big One at Blackpool or Stealth at Thorpe Park (both of which I have ridden).
I realise this is already starting to sound a bit cryptic and I know I generally do write in a fairly obscure style but this is liable to be one of the more rambling rambles, poor English as that obviously is. When I rather naively decided on running my own website, despite a complete and enduring technophobia, I made a promise to myself and to whatever small number of readers I may potentially gather and it was a simple one. I was going to be entirely truthful about everything, mostly as a minor revolt against the proven lies of TripAdvisor (sue if you dare, Kaufer), partly because I am a bloody-minded sort of man but mostly, I suspect and even if I didn’t admit it to myself at the time, as some sort of catharsis or even therapy.
I have never been diagnosed since childhood (a long and not very pleasant tale) but from what I have read I am undoubtedly suffering from PTSD and the more usual form of depression. I must stress that I do not mention any of this to elicit sympathy, that is the last thing I need or want but merely to put context onto what is to follow.
I know this is effectively meant to be a travel based blog but as a small service which may just help someone I would urge that, if you have issues like mine you may wish to try and seek help, there are plenty of avenues available to do that. Don’t fall deeper and deeper into the hole that is all to easy to jump into and which basically accounts for my absence from here for the last three months. I choose not to seek such help for numerous reasons which I am not going to go into here but it is there if you need it and there is no shame in seeking it.
So what has been happening since I went under the radar? I suppose the best thing I can do is to offer here the first piece of writing I did for a couple of months, composed on a train that represented my first excursion out of the E1 postal district in about a year and a half. That simple train trip was a breakthrough on so many different levels, a concept I shall explain later. For the moment, here is what I wrote on the train to Broadstairs or more specifically the Broadstairs Folk Week.
Writing on the train 05/08/2021.
Well, here I am again, turning up like a bad penny just when you thought you had got rid of me but I am a difficult man to shut up as many who know me will attest. I suppose a word of explanation would be more than in order as I have dropped off the radar so completely lately.
I stated when I started this blog that I was going to be absolutely honest with the few very loyal readers I managed to amass and the occasional poor person who happened upon my ramblings by accident and I intend to honour that commitment. The simple fact of the matter is that my health, both mental and physical, has been far from perfect recently and I just decided to withdraw from the world, at least the world of the internet. Apart from binge-watching documentaries on the BBC iPlayer and falling down a few YouTube rabbit holes, often for 24+ hours at a time, I have been lying in my bed with neither the physical ability nor will to even rise.
This is the fallout from the Chinese virus and I am sure I am not the only one but, sadly, so many people still find it difficult to speak of mental health issues, although I hope and believe that the situation is getting better. Witness Simone Biles at the virus postponed Olympics for a case in point and many other elite athletes are talking more openly about it these days which can only be a good thing as they are role models for so many.
Physically, I was wasting away as I just could not manage to ingest food and I had become so weak that a walk of no more than 60 yards from my front door to the little supermarket on the corner required a rest stop on both the outward and return journeys and a ten minute wheezing rest at the end of it when I got home. An appalling situation when you consider that only about three years ago I was out walking over ten miles easily on a decent day’s walk and knocking off long-distance paths around London for fun. Several of them are documented on this site. Thanks for nothing, China.
I knew something had to be done and so I hit upon a bit of a plan, actually a Complan which is a nutritional product usually given to the very elderly and complete invalids, looks like I fall into both categories now! It seems to have done me a bit of good and has evidently re-invigorated my digestive system to the point where I now eat the odd bowl of soup or a slice of cheese on toast or whatever. I still cannot physically eat a proper meal, it is months since I did so but at least I am holding up.
Evidence of how well I am holding up is the location I am writing this piece in with the header image being a bit of a spoiler I know. I am sitting on the 1432 from Stratford International to Broadstairs where I am heading for my favourite festival, Broadstairs Folk Week, which, like my long-distance walking, also features heavily on the posts here.
What is more, I am planning to stay on for a little while afterwards as I normally do, my record being that I went for Folk Week (hereinafter referred to by it’s acronym of BFW) which is the second week in August and only went home in early November as I wished to attend the annual Act of Remembrance at the Cenotaph on the Sunday nearest to the 11th of that month. BFW is fairly much in my blood and in the 33 years I have now been attending I have only missed two, last year which was obviously cancelled (as was any sort of normality throughout the world) and 2016 where I happened to be in Canada, bombing around in an ancient campervan (RV) and playing the odd gig as well, so I reckon that was a reasonable excuse!
I suspect that it was the prospect of not being physically able to attend this year that probably spurred me into action with the dietary supplements etc. So how do I feel, sitting on this train heading to a place I know so well and where I have so many friends (I have already been invited out for a drink this evening)? Again, in the spirit of honest reporting which I hope I have maintained on this site which has lasted far longer than I ever imagined, I must say that I am just a touch apprehensive.
I was worried about my physical ability to get to Stratford International on public transport even though it is an easy walk to my local Tube station, another short walk through the shopping centre and a completely downhill stroll at the far end and yet I just could not trust my body to do it which is a bit of an annoyance but there it is. I am also slightly concerned about how the festival might go after the hiatus, obviously things have changed but it is the uncertainty of everything that really gets to me.
I asked the guy on the barrier at Stratford if I was required to wear a mask on the train and he told me that he honestly didn’t know as the rules change so often. I remember about February of 2020 when the Government’s so-called experts were telling us that wearing a mask was of no benefit whatsoever in slowing down the virus and yet, within about three or four months you could be fined up to £800 for not wearing one on public transport, if you were even allowed out of your house arrest to be on public transport. They did not then have a clue and apparently have not advanced since.
I am not in the least worried about travelling per se as I have done so much of it but, barring two short walks which strayed marginally into the E3 postal district, I have not been outside my home postcode of E1 since February last year nor have I been in a pub which is unheard of for me. I should mention for the benefit of readers who do not know about the UK postal system that my E1 postcode is an area of about a mile and a half square.
Additionally, and perhaps more worryingly, I have had virtually no human contact whatsoever. I don’t do all this video conferencing or whatever they call it and I rarely make or recieve ‘phone calls. My social interactions, if they could be called that, were brief conversations with the checkout staff in my local supermarket and the charming Karim (my pharmacist) and his equally delightful staff. This is going to be an interesting trip.
Musically, everything will be fine. I know there are a lot of excellent acts booked to play in the new festival site although I doubt very much if I shall see any of them! I would suggest that the number of main booked acts I have seen in my 30+ years could be counted on the fingers of two hands and most of them were Tim Edey because, in addition to being a superb musician (currently Scottish Folk Musician of the Year) he is a great friend with whom I have played, recorded and toured. Please do check him out. He also happens to be the Festival’s patron. Apologies for the name drop.
What, you may well ask, am I doing going to a Festival and not actually going to see any of the big names play? The answer is simple and it will come as no surprise to those that know me that it all revolves around pubs! For many years I played pub gigs with numerous excellent musicians, far too many to mention here but now I concentrate on helping my dear mate Paul to run the daily playaround which has moved home several times but is now domiciled in the George which is run by my dear friends Dave and Bev. Most of the bar staff are also bosom buddies of long acquaintance.
If you don’t know what a playaround is, it is basically an open session where anyone, regardless of what standard of playing they are at, can turn up and jam. There are always a few exeprienced musicians (and the odd idiot like myself!) to keep the thing ticking over.
If you go to BFW and don’t play an instrument, there are a couple of other ways you can go about joining in. You can either buy an instrument from the excellent Craft Fair and there are loads of workshops for complete beginners led by stars of whatever instrument it might be, same goes for dancing. If playing or dancing doesn’t appeal, you can always give your lungs a work out at one of the numerous singarounds (same principle as a playaround but for voice) that happen.
OK, that is my shameless plug for BFW 2021 over and they are not even paying me this year! I realise that this has barged right into the middle of my last travel series and I do apologise for that and for the long delay in posting again but I hope I have explained the situation. I’ll try and post regularly during BFW but I know exactly how hectic it can all become and I once played 17 gigs in seven days which is pretty exhausting. I managed four in one day with an excellent band I was in and that was just ludicrous!
I shall also try to take a few video clips of the various nonsenses that take place and post them on YouTube, I’ll post links here if you are vaguely interested (doubtful).
I do, however, know in my heart of hearts that I shall be spending every waking hour playing and not bother writing a single word, take an absolute minimum of images and record nothing. BFW is like that, you just get caught up in the moment and the last thing you think of is writing a blog and supplementing it with images and videos, it is just the way it is.
In a bizarre way it takes me back years, when nothing mattered but the moment, what I was doing and where the next “experience” was coming from. To my absolute regret now I did not even carry a camera on several very interesting trips years ago and I managed to leave a cheap little “wet film” camera (when I eventually decided to buy one) in a hotel in Bombay, or Mumbai if you insist. It was Bombay when I was there, and it now breaks my heart that I do not have images of all those travels. A whole month travelling that magnificent country on an IndiaRail pass including the Taj Mahal, and I think I have a couple of dozen images that I had got developed out there.
Well, we are now approaching Margate and it is only about five minutes from there to Broadstairs so I’ll pack up now and see how things go.
This seems like an appropriate place to break so I will. I shall post shortly the utter brilliance that was BFW 2021 under the most arduous conditions when everyone really had to dig in to make it work. It worked and it worked brilliantly.
Stay tuned and spread the word.
Fergy's Rambles. 
Fergy’s back! Good to hear from you, a little hard to read. I do hope things have taken an upward turn. I seem to remember promising you a Beano breakfast next time you were in East Kent, but given that a) we’re travelling Greece at the minute, b) I didn’t know you were in our neck of the woods and c) you can’t currently face big meals, I guess I’ll let myself off. Look forward to reading more….
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Thank you so much for the kind offer of a Beano’s and I did even manage poached eggs on toast in the Broadstairs one which is about as much as I can manage these days, it was lovely.
Sorry you found it a hard read, I genuinely don’t want to make anyone feel bad but I had promised myself when I started here that I was going to be completely honest and I intend to stick to that. Really, it is rather a message of hope. Yes, I have been down, way down, but I got to Broadstairs and (spoiler alert) I had a great time. I have been down but I am not quite out yet.
What part of Greece are you in, it is a country I have a very close affinity with? I do hope you don’t have any hassles on your return, I know they keep changing the rules.
I give fair warning that the next post, which is ready for publication as soon as I clear my messages here, is a bit heavy but it gets really good after that.
I haven’t been online for a few days but I’ll check out your site asap to see what you are up to. Have a great time and maybe we can Beano next year (I may actually be back before that).
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Island hopping at the minute Fergy. We’re seven weeks into the trip now and have posted along the way. We’re currently on the lesser known island of Astypalea. Hinesty in writing is good, of course – it was a hard read because I don’t like good people being down, and these have been tough times.
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Thanks so much and I just had to look Astypalea up (I thought I knew Greece!). It does look remote, the nearest I ever got to there was Thira and that is miles to the West.
Have a lovely time, seven weeks already is a good run by anyone’s standards! Don’t fret about me, Broadstairs did me a power of good and I am back firing on all cylinders, not physically unfortunately but, until the poor old NHS can catch up with itself, that is the way it is going to be. Mentally, I am a whole lot better.
I have not been as thorough as I should have been of late in keeping up with my mate’s blogs but I look forward to reading yours as Greece is a place dear to my heart and you always write so eloquently about places you visit.
Have fun.
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Thank you – our route so far has been Thessaloniki-Delphi-Korinthos-Piraeus-Serifos-Crete (Hania-Agios Nikolaus-Paliokastro)-Karpathos-Chalki-Tilos-Nisyros-Astypalea. All good so far though we experienced the heatwave which culminated in 46 degrees in Piraeus!
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Hello again, so good to her from you. I know your route as far as Crete and then I am lost without resorting to an atlas.
I had one of the best seafood meals I have ever had in a little psarotaverna in Saloniki and the stag night I was invited to in Piraeus is probably best left consigned to my rapidly fading memory. I don’t even usually drink Scotch but the Greeks bloody love it even at about £50 a bottle (many years ago).
It’s a wonderful country as you obviously know so have a great time and maybe we can meet for a Beano’s when you get back. I’m thinking of the food festival in early October i you’ll be back then. It is always a good blast and, if you are very unlucky, I might even break out the guitar.
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Hi Fergy, glad to see you are blogging again and had a good trip to Broadstairs.
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Thanks so much Don, it was an absolute joy on so many levels. Stay tuned for the full story which I am working on now.
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So good to see you blogging again and to know that you’re at least a little better than you were a few weeks/months back. I’ve been worried about your since our aborted attempt to meet up when Colin & Josephine were in town. I’m looking forward to hearing more about how BFW went, and do let me know when you feel up to further socialising, it would be good to see you.
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Hello again Sarah,
so good to hear from you. I am so sorry about missing the meet as I was really looking forward to it, I even set out for it but sadly my aged bones failed me, I just could not make it. I am sure it was a great night.
I am feeling a whole lot better now although physically I have had another knock (stay tuned to the blog for full details) but mentally I am in a completely different and better place. OK, I have a bit of a history of it but I do seriously worry about the mental health of the nation generally and, indeed, the whole world. I believe the suicide rate in Italy has gone through the roof although I have not seen any figures for UK, I wonder if they are buried somewhere.
I have had three weeks of playing with some great musicians, watching some other excellent musicians and not being able to walk the length of the main street without someone stopping me for a chat or honking their vehicle horn as they pass. Half times I do not even know who these people are! Broadstairs is like that. Physically it was hard work at times but it was so, so worth it and I am so glad I did it.
To be honest, I’d still be there now but I had only enough medication with me for the time I was there, what has my life become? I have to get off the road now to go and see Karim, my wonderful pharmacist, or else I die! Changed times indeed.
I am physically a lot stronger now than I was when I went down so a meet should be feasible as and when. I shall probably head back to Broadstairs for the Food Festival on the first weekend of October (the weather can actually be stunning there at that time of year) but otherwise my social calendar is as empty as a hermit’s address book (apologies to Curtis and Elton for that line). Keep me posted.
Now that I am back online I am trying manfully to wade my way through the huge amount of work you have put up on your site. I don’t know how you can be so bloody productive, I am never quite sure whether I wish to fall at your feet and worship you or rip your throat out due to pure jealousy! It’s OK, you know I am a peacable man. Please do keep me in the loop for meets and I promise to keep my throat-ripping tendencies in check!
Thanks again so much for your kind words and continuing support and we shall speak soon.
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Good to know you’re feeling better after your three weeks in Broadstairs – sounds like it was just what you needed! Some of us (UK VTers) are getting together in Newcastle over the weekend of 17th/18th/17th September if that’s feasible for you? Otherwise, if you need more time, Kristi hopes to be able to get over in December so we’ll be planning our traditional pre-Christmas dinner no doubt 🙂
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Are you for real? I have some issues with my leg and am awaiting hospital appointments so everything is up in the air a bit but if possible I would love to get back to the Toon then. I love that place and if you want I’ll try to get a mate or two to play a few tunes if you like and can get a willing pub (I know a couple).
If Newcastle is not possible (believe it or not I am listening to Alan Hull on Spotify as I write this!) the pre-Xmas dinner sounds great, I’d love to catch up with Kristi again. If you’re in contact with her, which you appear to be, please give her my very warmest regards, she is a lovely woman.
Stay tuned to my blog to find out what ups and downs I had at Broadstairs, and there were considerably more ups than downs, I had a brilliant time and it totally kicked me out of the trough as well as re-adjusting me to my current limitations. Well worth the effort.
As George Harrison once brilliantly wrote, “All things must pass” and my days of going to Trailfinders (pre-internet) on a Friday and being on a ‘plane to BKK on the following Monday are long gone. I don’t know if anyone will even insure me to fly again so I’ll have to adjust but I have plans when the current virus paranoia recedes.
Thanks again for your support and kind words, they mean a lot and I am in a 100% better place than I was a month ago. I’m not quite dead yet!
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I’ll email you about Newcastle so watch out for that and please reply so we can stay in touch about the plans between now and then 😆 Meanwhile, would you believe, we’re actually going to be travelling abroad for a few days, the first time since last February – just a weekend in Paris, but still, exciting stuff!
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So good to hear from you again, I love your travel plans but won’t you have to quarantine in an hotel on return? I have no concept of the imbecilic rules now, determined by idiots that use big words and know the square root of nothing.
Yes, after the unmitigated success that was my trip to BSR, I am emboldened to keep moving in UK. I have had to amend my plans a lot, taxis to and from the station etc. but I can negotiate that, it is an annoyance rather than a barrier.
I was just on the point of writing “you won’t believe this but……” although I know you already know well and far better than me what it is like to sit on the banks of the Tyne and look at all those lovely bridges. “The Toon” is very close to my heart and it would be great to meet up even if it is not a full Euromeet which was pretty well scuppered for you.
Keep me up to speed with the details and if I am not required at the Royal London Hospital, Mile End Hosptal, doctors surgery (scratch that, they have locked the door a year or so ago) or the pharmacist I’ll be there under my new travel regime.
I still want to have a pint with you down the pub by the High Bridge, I shall probably bring my guitar and, if I get a chance “Fog on the Tyne” played in Newcastle reduces me to tears. Trust me, I have done it and it happens.
Apart from anything else, it will prove that normal life proceeds despite the criminally negligent actions of a certain major nation state which has rendered it not so the last two years.
I really hope to be there, keep me posted.
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I’ve emailed you with all the details so do read that email and then just let me know when/if you are able to join us so I can amend numbers for the bookings 🙂
As for our Paris trip, no, we don’t have to quarantine if we’re fully vaccinated, although we have to do a PCR test two days after our return. My main concern is the lateral flow we have to do BEFORE returning as if that should prove positive we’d have to stay there for an extra 10 days, possibly! But we’ll do one before we go so we’ll know the chances of a positive one two days later will be very low, hopefully.
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I do so hope you make it, I think everyone needs a break now and Paris sounds great. I am so sceptical about these lateral flow tests, whatever that even means. Looks to me like a way of pharma giants and criminal cowboys making millions out of international Governmental paranoia. I hope it allgoes well for you.
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Good to hear from you!
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Thanks Uli, everything had got a bit on top of me and I just decided to withdraw for a while, it seemed like the best thing to do. Since then I have had a great three week break by the sea, played a load of gigs, hung out with some really good friends and feel a whole lot better than I did when I set out for Broadstairs. I am an old man now and a physical wreck but I’m not quite dead yet!
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Good to hear from you Fergy! I was actually worried and contacted Sarah a few weeks back to see if she could check in on you, since I don’t have any other contact for you besides this blog. Anyway I am glad you are ok. Depression is a horrible thing, I’ve suffered since my teens myself. Even though it’s a bloody battle, as Claus says, trying to get up, trying to walk outside and get some fresh air can be a huge help for it. Anyway hopefully this period is over for you and you can have a fabulous time at the festival. Enjoy your drinking and jamming and hope to “see” you on here again soon! X
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Hi Anna, thanks so much for your very kind words.
The Festival ended a couple of weeks ago although I picked up another gig on the way. You’re entirely right, the “black dog” is a very horrible thing and people who have not had it don’t seem to understand. I do hope you are cool now.
The Festival was brilliant even if thrown together on a shoestring budget and at a quarter of the period they normally worked on. . What really impressed me was that those of us who attended worked our “you know whats” off to make it work, it had to work, we could not let it fail after so many years.
There is more to come so stay tuned and thanks again for your concern. Having been there yourself, you know how much it means to know you are not alone
Thanks again and speak soon.
Fergy.
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I’m always on WordPress daily reading blogs etc so if you ever need to spill just reach out, I can give you my email address or phone number. Don’t go it alone next time, reach out!! X
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Hello Anna,
you cannot believe how much that two sentence message on a public forum means to me. For you to offer me your personal e-mail and’ phone number demonstrates a level of decency towards a virtual stranger that speak volumes about the capacity of the human race for kindness and, if it doesn’t sound cliched, humanity. Honestly, this simple message has moved me deeply.
Whilst I appreciate your wonderful offer so much I am actually fine “flying solo”. I have always been a bit of a lone wolf and have always managed to work things out my own way. It is certainly a very comforting thought to have the likes of yourself and other bloggers here, some of whom I know personally and others merely through the internet, as a safety net should I ever need it.
My best regards to your “better” half and love to little Miss A. There are a few more entries to come about this trip and, as always, I intend to be totally honest so you will see how my mental state was and how it changed over that three weeks.
Stay tuned and spread the word.
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All good Ferg. I know you’re a man of solo nature and can take care of yourself, but the offer is there if you ever get stuck in a rut again. It’s funny isn’t it? There are some people I’ve never met apart from online but you just know that they would be a good friend in “real life”. I reckon if I lived in London I’d be hanging out with the VT crew for sure and having a good time! Anyway I’m always here and I look forward to reading future posts from you! X
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Anna,
you re so right and so perceptive. I am a lone wolf, always have been. My role in the Forces was unusual in that we were encouraged to be independent, think for ourselves but then again work in a small team environment. I thrived in that set up.
You really can’t believe how much your kind offer means. For you to offer a “hand of friendship” like this says an awful lot about you, your personality and how you were brought up.
Hopefully it won’t be necessary but I know I have you (as one of a small group) whose shoulder I feel safe to cry upon. I get the impression you won’t try to judge me.
It is possibly strange to feel like this when we have never met or are ever likely to do so but this is the 21st century (frightening as that is for one born in the 50’s!) but I suppose this is the modern world and I can honestly feel your concern for a relative stranger over about eight time zones, half the planet and a generation gap as wide as the Grand Canyon.
If you want a story about age gaps, watch out for my next blog entry where I “spill my guts” about a much younger gf.
Thank you again and we’ll speak soon.
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Ohhh can’t wait for the next post! 😀
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The next post should be up in the next couple of hours when I get it all linked, the images resized and so on. I do warn you that it is long and some of it is quite heavy reading but I am just ploughing on with my policy of being honest (something of a rarity online these days!) and it does end up happily if you manage to wade through it. Yes, it features the younger gf, I know that you just want all the gossip, typical bloody female (joking, JOKING).
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Good to see that you are back Fergy. I was a little worried about your absence. In the past I have been hit by clinical depression myself, so I totally get the thing about not having any physical energy when being depressed. All I can say is that being physically active whenever you can is the best cure for this crap. Hope you will get to lot’s of good gigs mate. And hope to see you soon again.
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Hello mate and thanks so much for getting in touch. You obviously know what a pig it can be and you know where I was because you have been there. I had a great festival, totally life affirming in many ways, played with some great musos and had some great sessions. I am in a much better place now.
With any luck, we can meet up somewhere in the future. I still want to be made a member of Cafe Globen!
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Great to read your wonderful piece. Enjoy the festival and more. Adam
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Thanks Adam,
I was in a pretty unpleasant place but the Folk Week has jumped me right back again.
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